The WWE Superstars Go Will Smith
by ScarlettFever0193
Summary: My take on what would happen if the WWE superstars start singing Will Smith songs!
1. The Fresh Protege of Ric Flair

The Fresh Protégé of Ric Flair

Triple H

Now this is a story all about how,

My life got flipped- turned upside down and

I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there

I'll tell you how I ended up teaming with Ric Flair!

In… Greenwich, Connecticut, born and raised,

In the wrestling ring's where I spent most of my days

Using sledgehammers, cheating all cool and all,

Shooting some smart remarks outside of the school

When a couple of jobbers who were up to no good

Started making trouble in my neighborhood

I got in one little fight and my mom got scared

She said, "You're moving with to Charlotte with your dear old Ric Flair!"

I hopped and cheered with her the next day

'Cause dear old Ric Flair lives in Charlotte, hooray!

She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket

I put my brass knuckles on and said

"I might as well kick it!"

First class, damn this is bad!

Drinking protein drinks out of a champagne glass!

Is this what dear old Ric Flair living like?

Hmm… this might be alright!

But, wait, I hear they're petite, weak and all that

Is this the type of place that they should send this nose fat?

I don't think so… I'll see when I get there

I just can't wait to see dear old Ric Flair!

Well, uh…

The plane landed and when I got out,

There was a jabroni looking like a fan standing there with my name out

I ain't trying to get bombarded yet, I just got here!

I sprang with the quickness of Randy Orton and disappeared!

I whistled for a cab and when it came near

The license plate said "FIGHT!" and there were fists in the mirror!

If anything, I could say that this cab was rare

But I thought, "Nah, forget it"

"Yo, loser, to dear old Ric Flair's!"

I… pulled… up to the house about 7 or 8

I yelled to the cabby, "Yo loser, smell ya later!"

Looked at my domain, I was finally, there!

To sit by the side of dear Ric Flair!


	2. Bosses Just Don't Understand

Bosses Just Don't Understand

John Cena

You know, bosses are the same

No matter time nor place

They just don't understand that us wrestlers are gonna make some mistakes

So to you, all the wrestlers all across the land

There's no need to argue

Bosses just don't understand

I remember one year

Vince took us gear shoppin'

It was me, Hardcore Holly, Jazz, oh, Bob Orton, and Christy Hemme

All hopped in the car

We headed straight to Rhode Island's wrestling mall

Vince started bugging with the clothes he chose

I didn't say nothing at first

I just turned up my nose

He said, "What's wrong? These trunks cost $20."

I said, "Vince, these trunks are pink with frilly little flowers!"

The next half hour was the same old thing

Vince buying me gear from 1983

Then he lost his mind and did the ultimate, shoot

I asked him for Air Force Ones and he bought me boots!

I said, "Vince, what are you doing! You're ruining my rep!"

He said, "You're only 20-some, you don't have a rep yet."

I said, "Vince let's put this gear back please."

He said, "No. You came to the WWE to wrestle, not for a fashion show."

I said, "This isn't WWWF, come on Vince, I'm not Piper!

Vince, please put back the matching headbands and sound stoppers.

But if you don't want to, I can deal with junk

Ya gotta put back the jet black reversible trunks!"

He wasn't moved- everything stayed the same

Inevitably, my first match really came

I thought I could get over

I tried to play sick

But Vince said, "No, no way, uh-uh, forget it."

There was nothing I could do

I tried to relax

I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts

And when I walked to the ring

It was just as I thought

The fans and wrestlers were cracking up, laughing at the gear Vince bought

And even those commentators still had a ball

The remarks they made were like Michael Cole on Jillian Hall!

I got backstage and told Vince of its demise

He said, "If they were laughing you don't need 'em 'cause they're not good allies."

For the next six hours, I tried to explain to my boss

That I was gonna have to go through it about a million more times

So to you, all the wrestlers all across the land

There's no need to argue

Bosses just don't understand

Oh-kay, here's the situation

My bosses went away on a week's vacation and

They left the keys to the brand new WWEMobile

Would they mind?

Um… well, of course not!

I'll just take it for a little spin

Maybe show it off to a couple of friends

I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood

Well, maybe I shouldn't

Yeah, of course I should

Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot

I pulled up to the corner at the end of the block

That's when I see this beautiful girlie girl walking

I picked up the car phone to penetrate like I was talking

You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions

I honked her horn just to get her attention

She said, "Was that for me?"

I said, "Yeah"

She said, "Why?"

I said, "Come on and take a ride with The Franchise!"

She said, "How do I know you're not sick? You could be some deranged lunatic!"

I said, "C'mon toot! I'm The Doctor of Thuganomics! Would a lunatic have economics like this?"

She agreed and we were on our way

She was looking very fine and so was I, I must say

We hit Mickey D's, pulled up to the drive

We ordered two Big Macs and two large fries and Cokes

She kicked her shoes off onto the floor

She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on"

She put her hand on my knee; I put my foot on the gas

We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast

The sun roof was open, the music was high

And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh

She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far

I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car

We're doing 90 in Vince's new WWEMobile and to make this long story short- short

When the cop pulled me over, I was scared as hell

I said, "Officer, I don't have a license, but I drive very well"

At that moment, my heart almost busted the meter

Come to find that the girl was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader!

I was arrested, the car was inhibited

There was no way for me to avoid being suspended

My bosses had to come off of vacation to get me

I'd rather be in jail than to have Vince curse me

Vince and Linda walked in

I got my grip and said, "Ah, Vince, Linda, how was your trip?"

They didn't speak

I said, "I wanna plead my case!"

But Vince just shoved me in the car by my face

That was a hard ride to the arena; I don't know how I survived

One would have a tantrum while the other would drive!

I can't believe it, I just made a mistake!

Well, bosses are the same, no matter time nor place

So to you, all the wrestlers, all across the land

Take it from me

Bosses just don't understand

PS

I forgot to mention that I don't own either the WWE (aw…) or The Fresh Prince (AW…)


	3. Nightmare After V1

Nightmare on V1

Matt Hardy

Now I have a story that I'd like to tell

About this guy you all know, he had me scared as hell

He comes to my locker room as I chat with Shane

He's jacked up like a lantern and his name is Kane!

He wears the same sick grin every single day

And even when people stare, he wears it anyway!

He's in the shower while I'm wrestling, but turns up when I'm done

I can't believe that there's a nightmare…after V1!

It was a Monday evening, if I remember it right

I had just got done my match that night

So Lita and I thought that it would be hardy, if we summoned up our posse and done rushed a party

I got Lita, Crash got Jackie

Shannon Moore got some groupie I never seen in my life

That was alright though, 'cause she had a Mattitude

We were all having a good time until they wanted food

So I hopped up and jammed straight to the kitchen

Thinkin' 'bout me and Lita getting hitched then

All of a sudden, a thick hand grabbed my throat

It was so hard to breathe that I started to choke!

Meanwhile, when I didn't come back

Shannon and Crash said, "So long, Jack"

They took their girls while Lita started to fume

She growled, "That bastard had better have a good excuse or I'll hit him with a broom!"

She got up and decided to take a look

What she saw made her scream so loud, I got off the hook

We didn't even stop to see who it was

We ran outta that room and shouted, "So long, cuz!"

Got halfway through the hotel before Lita said, "Oh, I get it Matty, we're dreaming!"

Thinking about it, I agreed and we laughed

So we strolled back home, big bad Matt and Lita

But Kane stopped our fun, real quick

He grabbed us by the throat and said,

"Here's what we'll do. We've got a lot of work to do, me and you. With the girl, we'll have a baby mania. I've got the sperm and she's got the-"

"Whoa, man, stop!" I could stand no more

"That's my girl you've got choking on the floor!

"And if you want to tussle, bring it!"

(I don't think I could've taken him, but hell, I'll wing it!)

Kane squeezed my neck until the color in my face began to drain

I laughed at first, but thought, 'Hold up, that's real pain!'

We were kind of nervous, Lita and I

'Till she kicked his nuts and said, "So long, bye!"

We ran upstairs and hid in the bed

Call me a perv, but I was feeling pleasure instead

Kane ripped the door open and pulled up the covers

We screamed with fear as Kane grabbed our necks again

He laughed his horrible laugh as we said goodbye to our kin

We shut our eyes tight, preparing for the end

But silence…

What?

It's a whole new day

I looked at Lita and laughed

"I wasn't scared of him anyway"

But when I saw the marks on her neck of fun

I knew that it was true that there was a nightmare after V1

horrible pun intended


	4. Wrestlers Ain't Nothing But Trouble

Wrestlers Ain't Nothing but Trouble

Trish Stratus, Lita, and Lillian Garcia

(All)

Listen homegirls, not tryin' to bust your bubble

But boys of the ring are nothing but trouble!

So next time a wrestler gives you the play

Just remember our rhyme and get the hell away!

(Trish)

Just last year, when I was dealing with some shit

Out came Jericho from the bottom of the pits!

He walked up to me and said hello

I said, "Hey, you're kind of cute"

He said, "Yes… I know. But by the way, Trish, what's the dish?"

I told him straight: I wanted the Womens Title

He agreed and said, "With Victoria, it is a little idle."

So we plotted against my friend and attacked!

But I overheard his conversation with Christian and felt slapped!

Nevertheless, don't mean to bust your bubble

But boys of the ring ain't nothing but trouble

Next time a wrestler gives you the play

Just remember our rhyme and get the hell away!

(Lita)

I was in a match one Monday night

Having a really awesome fight

I was maxin' and relaxin', Twist of Fatin' Molly Holly

When Matt Hardy came out and I was oh-so-jolly!

Matt was my boy and had just come from Smackdown!

Afterwards we planned to cruise the town

So Matt was gonna help me out with my match

But he hit my head in the steel cage door and locked the latch!

It hurt real bad

I was cryin' and coughin'

I hope this doesn't happen too often

But nevertheless, not trying to bust your bubble

But boys of the ring ain't nothing but trouble

So next time a wrestler gives you the play

Just remember our rhymes and get the hell away!

"Yo, guys, you think they see our point?" Lita asked.

"I don't think they really do." Trish replied, shaking her head.

Lita rubbed her chin. "I think we should give them another example."

Lillian smiled. "Awright, give me a scratch, let's make it funky right here!"

(Lillian)

I was in the ring on the mike, June 27th last year

Called out my main man, Vis, with a happy tear

Earlier he sang me a cute Barry White song

(I'm just glad he was wearing anything but a thong!)

Then he took me to his little love lair

It made me feel like I was hangin' with Ric Flair!

So I sang him a sweet melody

And even though it was soaked with cheese

I could tell that he was really pleased

Then I popped the question

Which I happened to know that he was gonna mention

But who came out but the Godfather and his Ho Train

He used his power to rekindle Viscera's old flame!

I was left in the ring, broken down in tears

Oh well, it just seemed to prove Mom's old fears

But it just goes to show

Not trying to bust your bubble

But boys of the ring are nothing but trouble!

So next time a wrestler gives you the play

Just remember our rhyme, just remember our rhymes!

Take heed to our rhymes and get the hell away!

"Man, first Vinnie Mac just doesn't understand, then we have these crazy nightmares." Lita sighed.

"Why us, girl, why us?" Trish wondered.

"What's next?" Lillian asked, rolling her eyes.

"Now these guys, man, you know how it is." Lita responded.

"Can't live with them, can't live without them."


	5. Dave Batista First out the Limo

Dave Batista (1st out of the limo)

Randy Orton

Everywhere we go, downtown or to a show  
We have two necessities, Dave Batista and our limo  
He's feared by suckers yet he's loved by kids  
Pay attention and let me tell you who Dave Batista is  
He is our homeboy from around the block  
He's regarded through the city as the beat- down cop  
Height about 6'6", weight about 330  
Everywhere I go, Dave Batista is right behind me  
He never laughs, never smiles nor sweats  
He doesn't breaks arms or legs, only spines or necks  
He once KILLED a man cause he would not let go of his Eggo  
Hulk Hogan is a SUCKER, Dave Batista could stomp Big Show!  
He could bench about four-hundred pounds  
Security takes a vacation, when Dave's in town  
He's the toughest around, so everywhere that I go, he goes  
He's Dave Batista and he's the first out the limo

I guess you're wondering why he's the first out  
The limo, yo, let me give you this bit of info  
So you'll know the things that Dave can do  
And you'll know every single reason why he's down with the crew  
The limo picks up about a half past six  
With us bragging about the latest guy we hit  
It's me, Triple H, Ric Flair (whoo!), and all them honeys  
Dave Batista is always waiting for us, reading the funnies  
First we cause chaos throughout the city streets  
Then maybe stop at the arena for a match, you see  
And if somebody gets stupid while we're in the place  
Dave cancels his order and bites off their face  
He's not a troublemaker, in fact, he's a trouble breaker  
And if somebody gets dumb, well it'll only take a  
Second or two, after we're bothered by some wrestler with the face of a pizza  
Law and order is restored by my hero Dave Batista  
Wheel off into the limo, and head for the arena  
Charlie cracks all the knuckles, dreaming about a title match with John Cena  
And when we pull up to the show, the routine is unrehearsed  
It's just natural that we let Dave hop our first  
He clears the crowd without saying a word  
Man, that's the loudest silence I've ever heard  
A lot of times guys test him, by trying to bug  
He just, leaves ring imprints, all over their mugs  
He's a terminator, the ultimate cool  
Man to hell with talk, he likes power- bombing fools  
You may not have known before but now you know  
The reason why Dave Batista is the first out the limo

We'd like to apologize to our fan  
But please don't touch us when we're taking care of business, damn!  
Cause Dave likes people as much as preps like Lance Cade  
And if he punches you, uh-oh, better get first aid!  
Still you weak phony dudes tempers are hot  
Just because I've got something that YOU AIN'T GOT  
If you want to get physical, rowdy or try to get a piece a-  
I won't get excited, I'll just say, "Yo Batista!"  
You shoulda been kind, you shouldn't have snapped  
Dave only hits you once and now you're taking a nap  
And when he leaves you decapitated, crushed in the dust  
You'll look up, and see your girl in the limo with us  
You may think that's enough boy but I think not  
Dave, kick his face again, I think you missed a spot  
I roll down the limo window and yell, "By the way Ass,  
You'll see your girl buck-naked getting Dave full blast"  
I'm serious, I'm not joking, no doubt  
You know how many doubters bones have been broken  
You may not have known before but now you know  
The reason why Dave Batista is the first out the limo

Dave Batista.. the first out the limo  
He's Dave Batista... the first out the limo

In closing, we'd like to say this, to you bustaz  
If you're skeptical you'll probably get beat up, plus kid  
Embarrassed and laughed at, by all of your friends  
And if you cross Dave Batista it's the beginning of the end  
Of life as you know it, you might not die, sir  
But if you're not dead, you'll wish you were  
But if you still wanna bug out, homeboy let's go  
You can bug with Dave Batista cause he's the first out the limo

He's Dave Batista  
And he's the first out the limo


End file.
